Everything and the Kitchen Sink
We tore up our kitchen yesterday. It’s one of those projects, the ones in which one must devote such focus and attention as to be put on the back burner for as long as possible. But then once the project is in focus, it is the focus.
My husband is in his element as head of the Kitchen Reno: organizing tasks, dividing the work between lay people (primarily himself) and that which must be done by professionals, and working like the Energizer bunny on steroids. An entrepreneur by nature, he is a man constantly brimming with ideas and jobs and dreams and drive, and I love watching him in his element. Thankfully we’ve been married long enough that he is familiar with my more Toadstool nature: i.e. sitting in quiet contemplation as my preferred form of existence. I like to work, but I hate to organize projects. He loves to organize and he loves to work (I know: win/win, am I right???). Overall, after nearly fifteen years of marriage, I think we’ve found a rhythm that suits us nicely.
It’s been a few weeks since my last post and since the kind and thoughtful engagement of many of you: thank you again, from the bottom of my heart, for your kind words.
I had intended to post sooner, but had an unexpected trigger and spent a week frantically trying to avoid the unhealthy coping techniques that I’ve spent the last four years trying to grow beyond. I recovered from that in time to trigger myself in therapy - yay me! - and recovered from that as we were entering the start of the birthday season for our family, and the beginning of kitchen renovations.
It’s nice to feel like I can breath again. Honestly. Sometimes the past seeps so heavily into the present that it becomes all consuming and with it, all ability to reason your way through goes right out the window.
I thought about writing a post to explain what triggers are like when we are talking about connections with extended unhealthy situations, rather than how we typically reference a “trigger”: something eliciting strong emotion responses. But tossed the idea aside, especially considering my last post dealt with death. Maybe someday.
For today, this is simply an update and, if I may, a question for you: as we close out spring and move into summer, any special plans for the warmer months?
Also, please bear with my grammar, I know it’s bad. One of my goals for 2024/2025 is to go back and relearn things like punctuation and sentence structure, but it’s not currently the top priority.
When I was around 7, we got our second puppy, his name is Chocolate, and he’s a collie/shih tzu mix. Very early on in his life, he got a taste for pulling up tiles. So, we ended up redoing my grandmother’s entire kitchen floor 😅
I very clearly remember my much older cousin, Lonnie, coming and helping us move everything out of our kitchen, finish pulling up the floor, and then letting my brother and I “help” him lay the new one. When it got to a point of him and my father needing a break from little helping hands, he gave my mom a $20 and sent us to the corner store to get icees for everyone.
I don’t have many memories of Lonnie, he’s been down a rough road and been in and out of our lives, but every time I see the kitchen floor at my grandparents, I think of him.
As for plans for the summer, I’ll be getting married in about a month! So, my fiancé and I will be moving into our first, very own home! I’m beyond excited for decorating and having my own space and kitchen.
I hope renovations go well!
Hello Monique, you’ve been on my mind off and on since your last post. I know our pain is different but I’d like to share that I think of you when I think of my daughter who is a prodigal. She has canceled us and so, although I know she is alive, I have not seen or heard of her for over 20 months. When my heart breaks anew over this I sometimes begin to think of the broken heart of others. May you and others be comforted as I yearn to be comforted. It feels right, better.
Anyway, I hope we will stay home this summer. I ache for lots of quiet contemplation time. Just taking slow walks and bikes and sitting on remote picnic tables…..observing……whatever the Lord shows me….pondering…..